If I would visit my grandparents it wouldn't be cool after all, so it's something not everybody has. Besides, I don't have good relationships to my relatives anyway. I don't know actually why. However, I miss that I don't have somebody of my affinity to talk to about personal topics.
Because your happiness about the fact that Christmas is coming nearer, brings me even more down becuse I would like to enjoy it too, but I simply can't.
However, I don't know you favorite actor or I know his look but not his name. What's the film about?
My weekend wasn't so good, because my sister and her boyfriend nearly split up and I was the one trying to save their relationship. However, I do regret this now because her boyfriend turned out to be stupid. I should have learned on this weekend, but I either I was too tiered or I was speaking to my sister. So I hope next weekend will be better.
Look that's what he wrote me:
johanna. please you know i care for you. dont be scared to lose someone. im not going anywhere far from you. i WILL talk to you when ever i can. ive just not been on last night. dont get scared of my inability to get online. shannon had to play on the sims2 so. we can be together one day. you know we will. if i have to travel to travel the globe and the seven seas, i will find you.
You're the only one I can talk to about our relationship because my friends think that my and Shane's relationship is weird which it is maybe, but there are so many things I love about it and don't want to lose.
Your description really sounded worse.
I know that I've to talk to him and I tried. He just not wants to give a clear answer. Maybe he is afraid if he tells me the truth I will not speak to him anymore. I do have the feeling he needs me because he has a hard time.
I first thought that Shane was the person who was able to understand nearly everything what I'm feeling and thinking. However, the fact that he found somebody who seems to be closer to him, is for me the proove that I was wrong.
I'm angry because he says our relationship has changed and I do have the feeling that it doesn't have the same worth for him anymore. However, I can understand it because you also need somebody to lean on and hug.
Well, that changed something between me and him. Exspecially because he got somebody to know he's very interested in. however, it's so weird because we just don't know what kind of relationship we have and the day before yesterday he wrote me that he loves me. I already asked him what the difference is, but he isn't able to describe it in words.
ugh stupid preppy whores push me into a mulberry bush.
why cant i look like every other guy in town?
--
Support Level 27! Visit Billy Martin's Bloodzilla.com!
I also have to be careful that I don't get a cold which isn't if you are person who always feel that it is warm enough. So I often dress myself warm enough.
I'm okay at the moment but I use to have these very extrem up and downs. From one moment to the other my feeling change from totally depressed to happy.
She went in the same kindergarten as I did and she left a school year out ( she is superior intelligent)
and went seven years in the same class with me. The curious thing is that we are totally different but we are able to understand most of the actions and the behaviour of the other. However, there is nobody else in the world who could have such a relationship to me as my sister.
Today was terrible. My sister cried for an hour and I tried to find out what her problem was. It was so terrible that I started crying too ( I was in a depressing mood). At the end I found out that her problem had to do with her boyfriend, so I convinced her to talk to him what she dud. However, I still don't no nothing about the problem and if it's solve. I worry so much about her because I never saw her being so down.
He had also all of the money but they had an account and the bankbook together. However, sometimes he got very angry because she didn't ask him. This was terrible then because he began to scream.
I do have the feeling our telationship changes and if he has an explanation for it. He didn't really answer but he wrote to songs which confused me. Here they are:
my sacrifice
in the dark
lies my heart
within a dream
you cant scream
i see you here
so leave my dear
i gave you a chance
to have one last dance
this is my sacrifice
my only chance of life
this is my sacrifice
in my silent bliss
its not you i miss
and your all alone
find your self a home
oh you love to hate me
if you could only see
i never said i loved you
im not lost without you
this is my sacrifice
my only chance at life
this is my sacrifice
all our lives
all your lies
you deceived me
now just leave me
while you hated
i patiently waited
for the death of today
you frightened it away
im not grieving for you
im not bleeding for you
everything i stood for
was thrown out the door
i knew that i was right
when you fled in the night
and with you goes
all my fears and woes
this is my sacrifice
my last chance for a better life
you are my favorite sacrifice
i never said i loved you
chorus
i never said i loved you,
but you know that i do.
its honestly quite true,
i never said i loved you.
you never call,
you never run to me.
why do i fall,
continuously.
every time for you,
you know its true.
i never said i loved you.
but you know that i do.
chorus 2x (whispered)
and all the times before,
when i knocked on your door.
why do i scream for you?
why do i feel the way i do?
i never said i loved you.
but god you know its true.
honey, why dont you,
tell me that it aint true?
chorus 2x (whispered)
id give my life for you.
and honey yes i do.
i never said i loved you.
cause honestly i still do. (screams)
chorus 4x (screamed)
honey cant you see?
what it is doing to me.
darling, you know that i know.
that its too late for a show
honey cant you see?
what it is doing to me.
i never said i loved you.
cause honey, i still do.
What do you think about them. I did also asked him, but probably I will not get a clear answer.
It was quite funny; okay maybe it was only funny for me because my friends present me a Spong Bob figure. Do you know what Spong Bob is?#
However, I got crazy because of this figure. I began to play up and laugh loud. My friends tried to take the figure away from me again but they hadn't a chance; so they had to bear my behaviour.
But the problem isn't only the time now; it's also because I gave everything on the concert yesterday. I was jumping, dancing around and singing with the crowd. It was so hot in this all you can't imagine; they air smelled like sweat. and at the end I was so thirsty I thought I hadn't drunk for some days. If it would have been longer I would have probably broken down.
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Replies for this Blog post
Okay, I would say that's a good week!
If I would visit my grandparents it wouldn't be cool after all, so it's something not everybody has. Besides, I don't have good relationships to my relatives anyway. I don't know actually why. However, I miss that I don't have somebody of my affinity to talk to about personal topics.
--
Johanna
so are you still busy?
I just didn't talk to you for a little while. How was your week?
--
Johanna
Luckily my mood is getting better again!
what's curious because this weekend was so boring and I didn't do anything. Well, but actually it doesn't matter what the reason for it.
--
Johanna
Excuse me, that my last comments weren't really nice!
However, I don't feel really good at the time. It doesn't have a specail reason; it's only life at all.
--
Johanna
We don't have that and nothing similar to it here!
And Christmas is hard to ignore.
--
Johanna
Did your read the whole blog or just the headline!
Because your happiness about the fact that Christmas is coming nearer, brings me even more down becuse I would like to enjoy it too, but I simply can't.
--
Johanna
What's surgey!
Try to find it in an online dictonary, but wasn't able to.
--
Johanna
I think I heard of the film!
However, I don't know you favorite actor or I know his look but not his name. What's the film about?
My weekend wasn't so good, because my sister and her boyfriend nearly split up and I was the one trying to save their relationship. However, I do regret this now because her boyfriend turned out to be stupid. I should have learned on this weekend, but I either I was too tiered or I was speaking to my sister. So I hope next weekend will be better.
--
Johanna
I don't have to worry anymore!
Look that's what he wrote me:
johanna. please you know i care for you. dont be scared to lose someone. im not going anywhere far from you. i WILL talk to you when ever i can. ive just not been on last night. dont get scared of my inability to get online. shannon had to play on the sims2 so. we can be together one day. you know we will. if i have to travel to travel the globe and the seven seas, i will find you.
--
Johanna
Thank you for helping so much!
Your advices are really helpful.
--
Johanna
If you want me to stop telling about Shane and me, it's no problem!
You're the only one I can talk to about our relationship because my friends think that my and Shane's relationship is weird which it is maybe, but there are so many things I love about it and don't want to lose.
--
Johanna
I hope your hand will heal quickly!
Your description really sounded worse.
I know that I've to talk to him and I tried. He just not wants to give a clear answer. Maybe he is afraid if he tells me the truth I will not speak to him anymore. I do have the feeling he needs me because he has a hard time.
--
Johanna
What brings me down is that...
I first thought that Shane was the person who was able to understand nearly everything what I'm feeling and thinking. However, the fact that he found somebody who seems to be closer to him, is for me the proove that I was wrong.
--
Johanna
I'm a little angry about it but I can also understand it a little!
I'm angry because he says our relationship has changed and I do have the feeling that it doesn't have the same worth for him anymore. However, I can understand it because you also need somebody to lean on and hug.
--
Johanna
Did Shane tell you that he's bi!
Well, that changed something between me and him. Exspecially because he got somebody to know he's very interested in. however, it's so weird because we just don't know what kind of relationship we have and the day before yesterday he wrote me that he loves me. I already asked him what the difference is, but he isn't able to describe it in words.
--
Johanna
I wrote her a mail...
because she has real big difficulties to talk about it and to write somethig isn't so hard speaking about it.
--
Johanna
My frien told me that she is depressive since 13!
She never said anything about that and I know her for years. I'm worrying about her a little bit.
--
Johanna
damn my emo looks!
ugh stupid preppy whores push me into a mulberry bush.
why cant i look like every other guy in town?
--
Support Level 27! Visit Billy Martin's Bloodzilla.com!
hey
sigh
my depression is back yay
--
Support Level 27! Visit Billy Martin's Bloodzilla.com!
So, I hope you wil get healthy again.
I also have to be careful that I don't get a cold which isn't if you are person who always feel that it is warm enough. So I often dress myself warm enough.
--
Johanna
How are you?
I'm okay at the moment but I use to have these very extrem up and downs. From one moment to the other my feeling change from totally depressed to happy.
--
Johanna
however, there are also negative things!
for me the biggest disadvantage is that I get tiered ver quickly and than it's hard to concentrate.
--
Johanna
I'm more busy too!
The regular lectures started and I've to buy books for them. I'm happy about the fact that I do have to work now because in this way I come further.
--
Johanna
You've to know that there is nobody who knows more about me than my sister!
She went in the same kindergarten as I did and she left a school year out ( she is superior intelligent)
and went seven years in the same class with me. The curious thing is that we are totally different but we are able to understand most of the actions and the behaviour of the other. However, there is nobody else in the world who could have such a relationship to me as my sister.
--
Johanna
There wasn't much happening besides!
Today was terrible. My sister cried for an hour and I tried to find out what her problem was. It was so terrible that I started crying too ( I was in a depressing mood). At the end I found out that her problem had to do with her boyfriend, so I convinced her to talk to him what she dud. However, I still don't no nothing about the problem and if it's solve. I worry so much about her because I never saw her being so down.
--
Johanna
a7x is whats up!
new albyum rocks my damn head off!!!!!!!!
--
Support Level 27! Visit Billy Martin's Bloodzilla.com!
My mom traveled home!
Yeah, I don't have to behave like she wants me to anymore.
--
Johanna
They took me for psychology!
I'm so glad about it. The rest isn't really interesting. Nothing special happens.
--
Johanna
Yes do that and tell me about it.
I really want to know everything, so I can imagine what it would be like to be on a concert.
--
Johanna
They take me for the psychology study although I've failed the second test!
They took more than the half of the people who made the test; so my points were enough. Luck came back to me
--
Johanna
so jacob was being mean to me today....
oh wait you dont know who jacob is. hehee. sorry lol. dont think the 2 new songs i wrote were for lo. i just wrote them
--
yes, that is me!
my mom never asked my dad if she could buy different things!
He had also all of the money but they had an account and the bankbook together. However, sometimes he got very angry because she didn't ask him. This was terrible then because he began to scream.
--
Johanna
Today I went shopping with my mom and it was fun!
I really enjoied it because often shopping with my mother is the horror because she likes everything which I wouldn't take if it cost nothing.
--
Johanna
Maybe he is just not sure about his feeling!
I've to admit that I sometimes also have doubts.
--
Johanna
I wrote Shane that...
I do have the feeling our telationship changes and if he has an explanation for it. He didn't really answer but he wrote to songs which confused me. Here they are:
my sacrifice
in the dark
lies my heart
within a dream
you cant scream
i see you here
so leave my dear
i gave you a chance
to have one last dance
this is my sacrifice
my only chance of life
this is my sacrifice
in my silent bliss
its not you i miss
and your all alone
find your self a home
oh you love to hate me
if you could only see
i never said i loved you
im not lost without you
this is my sacrifice
my only chance at life
this is my sacrifice
all our lives
all your lies
you deceived me
now just leave me
while you hated
i patiently waited
for the death of today
you frightened it away
im not grieving for you
im not bleeding for you
everything i stood for
was thrown out the door
i knew that i was right
when you fled in the night
and with you goes
all my fears and woes
this is my sacrifice
my last chance for a better life
you are my favorite sacrifice
i never said i loved you
chorus
i never said i loved you,
but you know that i do.
its honestly quite true,
i never said i loved you.
you never call,
you never run to me.
why do i fall,
continuously.
every time for you,
you know its true.
i never said i loved you.
but you know that i do.
chorus 2x (whispered)
and all the times before,
when i knocked on your door.
why do i scream for you?
why do i feel the way i do?
i never said i loved you.
but god you know its true.
honey, why dont you,
tell me that it aint true?
chorus 2x (whispered)
id give my life for you.
and honey yes i do.
i never said i loved you.
cause honestly i still do. (screams)
chorus 4x (screamed)
honey cant you see?
what it is doing to me.
darling, you know that i know.
that its too late for a show
honey cant you see?
what it is doing to me.
i never said i loved you.
cause honey, i still do.
What do you think about them. I did also asked him, but probably I will not get a clear answer.
--
Johanna
Today I meet two of my friends!
It was quite funny; okay maybe it was only funny for me because my friends present me a Spong Bob figure. Do you know what Spong Bob is?#
However, I got crazy because of this figure. I began to play up and laugh loud. My friends tried to take the figure away from me again but they hadn't a chance; so they had to bear my behaviour.
--
Johanna
i think I'm getting headache!
So I need a break too!
--
Johanna
in Austria there are a lot of such moms!
moms who want to be the best moms ever and always try to help if they could; but on the other hand ignore what her daughters and sons really want.
--
Johanna
She leaves on Saturday next week!
Seems that most of the moms are like that.
--
Johanna
Yes, I'm tierd!
But the problem isn't only the time now; it's also because I gave everything on the concert yesterday. I was jumping, dancing around and singing with the crowd. It was so hot in this all you can't imagine; they air smelled like sweat. and at the end I was so thirsty I thought I hadn't drunk for some days. If it would have been longer I would have probably broken down.
--
Johanna