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What I Truely See

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When the darkness penetrates...
When the agony subsides...
Look behind the mask...
And the pain it easily hides.

Can you believe the outcome?
Is this what you chose to be?
Let that mask uncover...
What we need to see.

Tell me here and now...
Of all the times you've lied.
You believe I do not recognize...
All you try to hide.

But I see the below the surface;
That front that you put on.
I've always been able to detect...
That fantasy you wish to prolong.

Nothing you try and achieve...
Can block my way of view.
Soon you'll finally realize...
I know the only you.

Comments for this Blog post

Wow

that was really good! you've got a little bit of a rhythm and a really good rhyme scheme! that's really hard to do. really hard. there are a couple grammatical errors and a few things that i felt were worded awkwardly, but it doesn't matter. you did an AMAZING job!! =)

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"Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone."

--C.S. Lewis

I just wanted to say thanks. You're like the only one who will give me some criticism. I appreciate the comment.

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No matter how hard I try...you're never satisfied.
This is not a home...I think I'm better off alone.

it's no problem. i like it when people give me the positives and negatives of my work. i think it really helps me improve without destroying my confidence.... so that's what i try to do for other people. ...not everyone takes criticism very well, even if it's helpful and not mean... ...found that one out the hard way...

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"Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone."

--C.S. Lewis