Happiness is not for me,

I'm not who I want to be,

my heart's in pain

I feel ashamed

of all I do I want to cry

and cry but can't, my eyes are dry.

these pains inside grow everyday,

new ones come and old ones stay.

Sometimes I wish that I was dead,

someone shoot me in the head,

so I can't feel this pain no more,

this s*** inside I can't ignore.

I feel like I might explode,

I tell myself "don't give up hope"

sometimes I get to thinkin why,

sometimes I think, why even try?

and then I think of all the kids,

and loved ones that I'm gonna miss