This is dedicated to my oldest son gavin. He is 2 yrs old, and having him opened up my heart to the most amazing love a person can ever experience. And I am a better person from that love, and I have him to thank for that change. Thank you baby, mommy loves you!!!!

His smile opens the windows
To my soul. And his laughter
Lights even the darkest corners,
Of my shaddowed heart. With his
Eyes blue as the deepest sea,
One gaze shall be forever hypnotizing.

Hair as radiant as the golden
Sun. With such a strong will and
Independance, that even I am over
Taken with admiration. Yet his touch
So gentle and heartfelt, It rushes
Through my veins. Awakening
Emotions that I once believed
Were long laid to rest.

He has made me feel so alive!
I gave him life, but he has given
Me so much more. He has given
Mine fulfillment and purpose. He

I want to run, but where?
Theres no place to hide,and
No shelter safe. From the raging
Storms around me, and inside
My soul. I am beaten alive from
The hurt, and the pain cuts like
A jagged knife. I dont want to feel you
Anymore.

I need you to leave, and
To release me evermore.
The tugging is relentless,
It pulls as if to rip me apart
From the inside. My heart
Is a slaughtered battlefield,
From your poisoned love.
I dont want to feel you
Anymore.

And sleep has become no
Escape. For you invade me
There. To terrorize my dreams
And bruise my soul. I search

Cold blue eyes have
Turned to stone. You
Break the vein, and
bruise the bone. It
Feels so dull.

Where did you go?
When you let me go?
I waited for you in a
special place.

You gravitate, It
Lifts us out. You
Hold the hand that
Made you fall.

Where did you go?
When you let me go?
I waited for you in a
Special place. Oh no!
I fall, in the darkness.
You cannot find your
way home. You cannot
find you.

I waited for you in a
Special place. And
Flowers died. You
Know they cannot grow,
With no light. Where did
you go? When you let
me go?

Well I know the words, but
I cant really speak them to you.
And I know the pain that Ive
Gained with my wisdom from
from you.

And Im eaten alive,
By what I hold inside.
All the things that I live
With, I cant easily hide.
And Im left here with nothing,
Nothing to live for, but you.

Its not easy to hide, all
This damage inside. I'll
Carry you with me, until
Im not alive.

When you look at my face
Does it seem just as ugly,
To you? I cant seem to erase
All the scars that I live with,
from you.

Im so sick of this place,
And this taste in my mouth.

When april bends above me
And finds me fast asleep,
Dust need not keep the secret
A live heart died to keep.

When April tells the the thrushes,
The meadow- larks will know,
And pipe the three words lightly
To all the winds that blow.

Above his roof the swallows,
In notes like far-blown rain,
Will tell the little sparrow
Beside his window pane.

O sparrow, little sparrow
When I am fast asleep
Tell my love the secret
That I have died to keep.

I wish I could remember that fist day,
First hour, first moment of you meeting me,
If bright or dim the season, It might be
Summer or winter for aught I can say;
So unrecorded did it slip away,
So blind was I to see and to foresee,
So dull to mark the budding of my tree
That would not blossom for many a may.
If only I could recollect it,such
A day of days! I let it come and go
As traceless as a thaw of bygone snow;
It seemed to mean so little, meant so much;
If only now I could recall that touch;
First touch of hand in hand-Did one but know!

This one is truely personal for me, It bears my naked soul for all the world to see.

She emerged into my light.
A breathtaking beauty at best,
A scorned savior at worst.
Her darkened spirit washes
over me, like a thousand
rivers flood.

As I recall gazing into
her eyes, It was then I
Was sure there would be
no easy return. She has
Captured my ellusive soul.
A love so fulfilling, I would
Cast away every fear,
Every secret, every lie.
Her darkened spirit washes
over me, like a thousand
rivers flood.

Such devastating beauty, my
body grows limp by her feet.
Such passion my blood burns,
to feel hers. As her flowing hair

He lies in my arms,
So still, so quiet,
So happy. His piercing
Baby blues staring
wonderously at mine.
Its as if he sees
Straight into my soul.
His peaceful tranquility
Is so sublime.

His eyes and his
Heart are both open,
And hungry for the
World around him.
He looks to me for
Guidance. He looks to
Me for love. He looks
To me for life, as it were.

Such overwhelming responsibility,
I tremble at the thought.
How do I make his life
Amazing? How do I shape
his soul? How do I make
Him love me, a fraction
Of the immense love I feel
For him? Will he ever